Ridicastache 2007
HISTORY
For nearly a millennium, ancient
Mayan warriors have resolved outstanding claims of male dominance
through a facial hair design and grooming competition called 'Pelo
Ridiculoso.' In an effort to better understand this ancient and
sacred culture, Michael and Brad will themselves become follicle
combatants. The battle lines have been drawn and the Belizean
clippers await our skillful fingers. At the tail end of the journey,
a fateful afternoon will once and for all decide who can mold his
facial hair with the most grace and hilarity: Ridicastache 2007. |
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| The Follicle Combatants
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Brad, aka 'Red
Beard':
'I'm really looking to make a bold
statement. Hobo has a lot more experience with ridiculous
mustachious creations than I do - so the design phase will involve
hours of study in front of the mirror... and I'll have to come to
grips with the face and hair growth patterns the Lord gave me. Mayan
history records that the loser in this sacred competition would be
thrown into volcanoes or fed to hungry jaguars. In other words, I
really need to take it to the house. I will also be consulting with
facial hair specialists and visiting local manstache events for
ideas. I really have an uphill battle here, but I won't be
discouraged... and I know my fans are behind me 100%... which means
a lot.' |
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Mitch, aka
'Hobo':
'Red Beard would have you believe that
experience is on my side, therefore putting him as the fearless
"underdog." This is just soooo untrue. Well, it is true I look
better with a mustache, but that does not warrant the mindset of
being the "King of the Mountain." My experiences mostly lie in the
traditional Euro-American 'stache, and as you know, we will be
working with ancient Central American media (which I admit to be
ignorant). But nevertheless, I believe I will still bring in the "W"
despite the already unfounded notions that Red Beard cheaply used to
gain the hearts of our loyal, intelligent and extremely attractive
audience. Don't give in to his dirty politics; you are too smart and
attractive. And remember, my fans stay behind me 110%, and this
little bit extra sets the champions apart from Red Beard.'
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